How Do I Get My Husband/Wife On Board With This Budget Thing (Pt. 2)

So yesterday's post took us out of the realm of budgets and money and went more towards current events.  It was difficult to write, but I wanted to at least put something out there.  It ended up being a big success so thanks to everyone out there who shared it.  I hope to at least throw out a post when the big big hot topics are out there.

Today, we follow up with our post from two days ago with more tips on getting your significant other on board with this "budget thing".  Below is the link from the first article just in case you missed it.

How Do I Get My Husband/Wife On Board With This Budget Thing (Pt. 1)

So we started off talking about the "why" of creating a budget.  Why do you want to budget at all?  Why do you need a budget?  The first point we made was to have a sense of control.  Something, most of the time money, has gotten beyond your reach of control without having an external tool to assist.

Dream On, Dream Away

One of the major things that budgets do is give you an opportunity to dream.  If you're a long term planner, then a budget is your first mate on your voyage to "What does the future look like"-ville.  That's the key way you start the conversation with someone who you want to convince to do a budget.  Before we get to what categories are in your budget, how the budget gets created, first start with what you are trying to accomplish.  Here's some scenarios:

• Hey dear, you know how you always wanted to go to Hawaii?  Let's start being intentional about that and make that happen.
• Hey sweetie, wouldn't it be awesome if we could start tithing 10% to our church like we always wanted?  Let's start being intentional about that and make that dream your reality.
• Hey sugar plumb, you know how we always feel like we're spinning our heels and never have any money?  Let's start being intentional about that to figure out another way.
• Hey pumpkin, you know how you wanted to quit that job that you hate but were afraid to because of how it may effect our finances?  Let's start being intentional about that and make that happen.
• Hey mi amor, you know how you always talk about wanting to retire at some point?  Let's start being intentional about that and make it happen.
• Hey snow princess, you know how you always talk about wanting to shower me with gifts but never have the money?  Let's start being intentional about that and make it happen.

Okay, so now I hope that you get my drift.  Let's break down the basic formula:

"Hey (term of endearment), you know how (things he/she always complains about)?  Let's start being intentional about that and make that happen."

So it's good to have at least one thing that tangible and another thing that is a little far out there.  It's good to have something easy to reach for and something you're going to have to work harder for.  I speak about this from personal experience.  Here's the very shortened version of how the budget talk happened in my house 3 years ago:

(I enter the kitchen, Mrs. Budget is there.  She's 4 months pregnant with Baby #1)

Mrs. Budget - "I've decided that I don't want to work anymore.  

I want to be a stay at home mom.  So you need to do a budget and figure it out"

Me - "Ummmm, okay.  I guess I can look at the numbers and let you know"

(Many days pass and I enter the kitchen after looking at some numbers)

Me - "Okay, so I looked at the numbers and it can't happen.  We're in too much debt......."

(Mrs. Budget starts to cry and leaves the room)

Me (in my head) - "What did I say"

(I go to Mrs. Budget to ask what I did wrong)

Mrs. Budget - "You don't understand, I feel called to be a stay at home mom.......(crying).....(more crying).......(swear words)......(storms out of room).....You Don't Get It!!!

Me (in my head) - "I'm confused"

So in this scenario, Mrs.did have a dream in mind but it wasn't executed in the best way.  She did end up being a stay at home mom after we cleared away our debt in a couple years, but that isn't always the case for most people.  So, communicate the dream but do it in a positive constructive way and give your significant other some time if they don't immediately understand.

Once again, making a budget is not an easy process to go through.  But to help you in the process, you need a strong reason/purpose.  Find your "WHY?"  Trust me, it helps when you get in the thick of the process and want to give up.  Also, remember to find a good way to communicate it to the person you're trying to convince.

So to repeat, DO NOT start an initial budget conversation with, "Let's make a budget, we're going to start with not going out to eat anymore and you have to stop spending so much money at Kohls/Target/Walmart/Bath & Bodyworks/Funcoland/Mervyn's/Crowley's/Sam Goody/Circuit City.
  Pull on the other's heart strings buy doing some dreaming first about what can happen as a result of budgeting.  What's that thing he/she always talked about doing but haven't been able to yet?

We'll get back to part 3 in the series next week.  Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Friday is a #HashTagFriday (If you don't know what that is, come back and you'll be in for a treat!)

Question of the Day: 

What are your dreams that you really want in the future that a budget can accomplish?

Song/Video of the Day:

Until next time............Happy Budget, Happy Life